Please do not forget your flu shot!!!!

Again, let me share this funny article which landed in my inbox this morning.

The First Half of this makes sense, but I like the second half better.



Eat right!

Make sure you get your daily dose of
fruits and veggies.


Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.


Get plenty of exercise because
exercise helps build your immune system.


Walk for at least an hour a day,

go for a swim,


take the stairs instead of the elevator, etc.


Wash your hands often.
If you can't wash them,
keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around.


Get lots of fresh air.
Open doors & windows whenever possible.


Try to eliminate as much stress
from your life as you can.

Get plenty of rest.
OR

Take the doctor's approach.
Think about it...
When you go for a shot, what do they do first?
They Clean your arm with alcohol...
Why?
Because Alcohol KILLS

GERMS.

So.......

I walk to the liquor store. (exercise)
I put lime in my Corona ...(fruit)
Celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies)
Drink outdoors on the bar patio..(fresh air)
Tell jokes, laugh....(eliminate stress)
Then pass out. (rest)
The way I see it...

If you keep your alcohol levels up,
flu germs

can't get you!

My mother always said,
"A shot in the glass
is better than one in the ass!"

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, EVERYONE!

SOLDIER STORIES

As a young boy, I heard stories about abusive soldiers who were punished by being made to take the lead in a jungle patrol bearing nothing but a knife. The story goes that the punished one's knees shake uncontrollably and he breaks down like a scared little boy.

The sleaze bags, I think, should be made to patrol the innards of Quiapo or the scariest areas in Tondo at night, alone and with nothing but a batton.

Vamos a ver!

IF THIS COP IS MARRIED, I'LL HAVE ANOTHER COP STICK HIS TONGUE IN HIS WIFE AND DAUGHTERS!!

RELATED POST: TRIBUTE TO COPS

If a cop can do this and get the wholehearted support of his commanding officer, what more can both of them possibly do?

A man was arrested for drinking in public, wife goes to the police precinct to bail him out, lowly cop tries to scare her by claiming that the case will be filed unless... he then proceeds to lock lips with the shocked woman. And that is not the end of this story. The woman complains to the cop's superior, who turned out to be a m&*(n. He promptly took the policeman's side by blackmailing her into forgiving the sleazebag so the husband can be released faster.

This is probably what the sleazebags had in mind

The alleged sleaze is stationed the Manila Police Station 4 on G. Tuason Street and goes by the name of PO2 Luis Gonzales. A PO2, please take note, nothing but a lowly worm in the food chain and yet, full of gall to poke his stinking mouth into a woman. -- Susmaryosep, PO2 pa lang yan!

His case was reported to the Manila Police Deistrict General Assignments Section .


In my opinion, the case is not simple for what else could the cop have done if the woman was too shocked to do anything.

You know what, if the police superior thinks, a cop sexually harassing women is no serious matter, why not get the drunk and filthy husband kiss and fondle his and the PO2's wife and daughters? If the cops will agree to that, I will probably keep my peace on this issue.


There are lots of cops in my family but here's to the two sleazes --- Pulis Patola!

Here's the story

FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, END THE SUMILAO CRISIS-- WITH FINALITY!

Let me start by quoting Francisco Licuanan, the former president of one of the country's most profitable companies, Ayala Corporation. He once said to an applicant who had the Philippine government listed as his previous work experience,

"I don't consider government service as work!"

This morning, let's talk about the Sumilao farmers. Their case has been dragging for so long and yet, the government is yet to resolve it with finality. I remember reading in a newspaper, a few weeks ago, that the secretary of agrarian reform needed the position papers of the contending parties and will act on it thereafter. He also was quoted as saying that he needs more time since he has only heard about the case on the closing days of November.

What is the Department of Agrarian Reform (DAR) doing? The Sumilao farmers' case is very high profile and claiming to have heard about it only recently is either an outright lie or an admission of incompetence. The farmers staged a highly publicized walk from their province to Metro Manila, an activity that lasted for two months. In the process, they passed by a number of provinces with DAR offices in it. Are they telling us that none of those offices took notice of an event directly aimed at them?

Today, the case is yet to be resolved. The government is claiming that a process has to be followed in order for this matter to come into conclusion. I am not sure if this is a joke since April Fools day is not anywhere near.

Why prolong the suffering of the farmers? If they rightfully deserve the land, give it to them! If not, for God's sake, tell them now!!! But what the government is doing now is nothing short of...

RARE BUDGET SURPLUS

The government posted a rare budget surplus due to its sale of the geothermal power producer PNOC Energy Development Corp. last month. This is one of the very few times when the Philippines posted a budget surplus and my outlook is not as optimistic as the government's cheerleaders.

Selling assets to increase revenue is nothing but a short term remedy. Good economic leadership is what this country needs in order to achieve sustained economic growth.

Despite that, the administration still aims to sustain this positive trend through a balanced budget by 2008.

In an economy such as the Philippines', a small gain can immediately be transformed into a huge loss. Political turmoil and an ambitious military can do that in an instant. Let's just hope that the soldiers will realize that they are hardly capable of being transformed into civilian leaders overnight and will stop entertaining messianic thoughts.

The politicians on the other hand, should realize the magnitude of hunger that they can induce by prolonging the passing of vital legislation and not stopping graft and corruption.

CHRISTMAS SPENDING

The ATM machines registered record breaking transactions over the weekend and resulted to long lines, slow services and of course, erroneous transactions..

Last night, I watched on television, the chairman of one of the country's atm networks asking people to start using their ATM cards as debit cards, meaning, they pay for their purchases by having their ATN cards swiped at the shopping establishments' paying counters. That way, long lines will be prevented and instances of erroneous debits will be avoided.

I think, the suggestion is right. It just came terribly late. So many Filipinos are are unaware of such ATM card feature that they will probably be skeptical the first time they hear about it. they should have embarked on a good information dissemination campaign several months ago..

From my mailbox, again.. Females Revenge

Was preparing to post this yesterday, when the "Boss" called and asked me to come home early. What can I do?

---------

BOOBS vs. WILLIES


Happy Holidays to all!


A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many
kinds of boobs are there?"

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, a woman goes through three
phases. In her 20s, a woman's boobs are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30s to 40s , they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions".

"Onions?"

"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, "Mom, how
many kinds of 'willies' are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes
through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree,
mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but
reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree".

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yes --- dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration."

AGAIN, FROM MY MAILBOX

With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, especially during evening hours, the Minneapolis City Council has established a "Women Only" parking lot at the Mall of America.

Even the parking lot attendants are exclusively female so that a comfortable and safe environment is created for patrons.

Below is the first picture available of this world-first women-only parking lot in Minnesota

Send this to all the women you care about...and to any men who appreciate a good laugh!

TRILLANES AND HIS STAREX

--------

Here's a bit more about the messianic personality who thinks of himself as Moses, who only needs to walk in the streets and all God's children will follow. He also thinks that he can part the Red Sea, with a dip of his stick. -It's too short to reach the chest level waves, Sir!

--------

The Trillanes apologists try to salvage his soiled reputation by calling him an idealist.

Huh?

How much is his salary again?

I just had to ask because:

"When he ran for the Senate, Trillanes indicated that he lived in Caloocan City.

But it has been alleged that he resides in a millionaires’ village in Antipolo City."

He is also said to have 8 cars listed under his name.

And now, he even has a new Starex

"a van that was allegedly used to transport rebel soldiers and firearms during the standoff at the Peninsula Manila hotel in Makati last Nov. 29.

...... said the black Hyundai Starex van with license plate ZBU-594 was intercepted with Arlene Trillanes, the wife of detained Sen. Antonio Trillanes IV, and their four children on board."

There are TV footages that supports this claim:

"...the Starex van was found abandoned by police and military operatives near the Manila Peninsula hotel after the six-hour stand off.

This is how he used to live in prison,

"Trillanes and his fellow Magdalo mutineers were allegedly given VIP treatment.
Their privileges included: (1) being allowed to play badminton at the Isafp gym with players from outside brought in for them, (2) being allowed to have cellular phones inside their cells, (3) being allowed to have desktop computers, microwave ovens and refrigerators, (4) being allowed to have occasional passes to visit their families.
But still, they reportedly wanted more privileges."

-----------------

"Trillanes was one of the most arrogant of the Magdalo detainees, according to Isafp records handed to me by an inside source.

On Jan. 1, 2006, Trillanes allegedly berated a guard who was following orders to limit the duration of the visits of lawyers and families of the detainees as the camp was on “blue alert.”

-----------------

Navy YNC Mariano Rapanot became a victim of Trillanes’ alleged abusive and arrogant behavior. Rapanot wouldn’t allow an Attorney Guevarra and the family of Navy Lieutenant Layug entry into the detainees’ cells as it was past visiting time.

Trillanes, according to the report, came out of his detention cell and berated Rapanot.

“P***** i**! Sino ba’ng chief of staff ninyo? Sabihin mo sa kanya na p***** i** niya! Babalikan ko siya! (S@#$^%! Who’s your chief of staff? Tell him, @#$!%&%! I will get back at him).

Note the last words: “Babalikan ko siya (I will get back at him).

But prior to all that, in an article entitled, "tantrums of the demigod",

"Dutchman Adriaan de Jager and his Filipina wife Ana Santarin who related the injustices they had to endure under Navy Lieutenant Trillanes.

They were evicted by Trillanes from their Novaliches property without any court order; Trillanes swooped down on the De Jager home with a gang of armed goons. He did not even introduce himself as a Navy lieutenant, but reportedly misrepresented himself as a businessman. Trillanes later used the basement of the house to store a cache of explosives and ammunitions. Because of that, De Jager languished in jail for 15 months."

MORE OFW'S WANTED IN ITALY

Call it brain drain or whatever you may want to. But since I was born, I've never really seen life improve in this country. So for those wanting to increase their success probabilities, go and find your fortune, my sons!

From its quota of 3,000 which was alloted on 2006, Italy has given the Philippines an additional 2,000 making the new total of 5,000 Pinoy OFW's that will be allowed for 2008. The employees which will be allowed covers

1. Caregivers
2. Construction
3. Domestic helpers and
4. Dependent work in general.

The ambassador to Italy says,:

"Filipinos can now enter other work sectors in Italy aside from domestic work as long as there are employers willing to hire them."

The PDI added,

"The application of the interested employees is done through the Internet.

Interested employers may use their own personal computers or avail of the services, for free, of the accredited employers associations, and labor unions in order to submit requests to accede to the established quota."

A NEW BLOG LAYOUT

My current layout is not working so well. In most of my posts, the "READ MORE" function is difficult to install. Besides, this layout requires a long code (to be embedded into every article) and most of the time, it doesn't work.

Being the non techie that I am, a new and easier layout is needed. Going around the net in search for good themes, I found a lot of new wordpress themes but sadly, only a few for blogspot.

Wanting to share my finds, here is one site that offers FREE WORDPRESS THEMES. It is actually a blog that teaches how to make money online and other than blog designs and money making tips, it also offers a few other free services.

Please click on the image for the freebies.

A BIT OF BIBLICAL HUMOR

I found this in my inbox this morning and I think its nice to share it with all of you. While I intended to write a balance of commentaries and good news, it seems that we have been seeing mostly, bad things. Here it is:

Never take life too seriously. No one gets out alive anyway.

IT DOESN'T HURT TO HAVE A LITTLE BIBLICAL HUMOR ONCE IN A WHILE....

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?

A. Ruthless.

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?

A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?

A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?

A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?

A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q.. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?

A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden ?

A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?

A. The area around Jordan The banks were always overflowing.

Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?

A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Q. Which Bible character had no parents?

A. Joshua, son of Nun.

Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark ?

A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. ( Groan...)

PS. Did you know it's a sin for a woman to make coffee?

Yup, it's in the Bible. It says . . "He-brews"

KEEP SMILING!!!! GOD LOVES YOU BUNCHES AND BUNCHES!!!!

Friends are God's way of taking care of us.

...Faith, Hope &Love -- but the greatest of these is LOVE.

Corinthians13: 13

TIL NOW, SPAIN WANTS TO HOLD ON TO OUR LEGS

It seems that the 300 years that they had us was not not enough for the Spaniards. Or perhaps, they are missing all the fun that they had when we were their slave Indios.

Despite the United Nations (UN) condemnation of our government for the slaying of journalists and killings and disappearance of activists, they..

..call our president "Champion of Human Rights!"

Que Barbaridad!

Por Dios, Por Santo!

LACSON & PIMENTEL VISITS TRILLANES

"Senator Pimentel told detained ex navy officer and senator Antonio Trillanes to stay out of trouble.He added that he was leaving it to Trillanes to interpret what he meant."

Pimentel said Trillanes failed in his bid to oust President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo for "lack of planning."

"Siguro [Maybe] they were banking on the spontaneity of the people," said Pimentel.

Most notably, fellow military academy graduate and senator Lacson..

"..said he gave his detained colleague the book, “The Art of War,” by Sun Tzu and that Trillanes was happy to receive the gift and had lots of time for reading."

As a military officer, being given a copy of the book is an insult, especially if you spent four years in a school for warfare. All military leaders are supposed to be experts in the Art of War. So, if a fellow soldier gives you that book after a failed coup, it's like being told that you are a louse!

I would not be surprised if Trillanes, being the free loader in expensive hotels that he is, would be happy to receive the gold members' card.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO USE THIS CARD IN YOUR BLOGS

But with the Art of War, hmmnn..
Who knows, with the book, he might be inspired to mount another coup.

Compliments of the Philippine Commedian

CHEAP AIRFARES? TELL ME ABOUT IT.

Skybus Airlines now offers one-way airline tickets for just $10 (plus taxes).

In our country, prices are advertised to be 50 times lower and yet, the experience of passengers here and those in US seems to be strikingly similar.

"I was drawn to the airline because of its low prices, although I was never able to find a $10 fare," said Straney, 61. "I wound up paying about the same price as I would have paid with other airlines."

Here and there, there are people out to pull a fast one on unsuspecting people. As PT Barnum once said,

"There a sucker born every minute"

PENINSULA MUTINEERS? NOPE, THEY ARE THE LATEST GOLD MEMBERS!!!!

UPDATED:

Before, it was called the "Oakwood Mutiny". Now, shall we call it the "Peninsula Presscon"?

They were called the "Magdalo". But now, only a handful joined Antonio Trillanes and we can in fact call them a separate group. The Trillanes boys were wearing the Magdal0 arm bands but with most of his co accused refusing to join, this is definitely a new group.

Some say that the word "Magdalo" is an invention of the press. Then, what will they call the new group? With their penchant for expensive hotels, they should

... be aptly called the GOLD MEMBERS!!!

As for Trillanes, shall we refer to him as a Rebel Leader? Leader of a handful of rebels? Pinoy Confucius (because of his contradicting statements)?

I dunno. As for me, i'll call him......

MINI ME!!!!

PGMA goes to Spain: News & Commentary

Note: I had to go to the Manila Bulletin website just to dig this information which I initially learned through radio reports. It seems that the Inquirer find the gains of the trip too minor that they focused on the controversy attached to it. I can hardly find this information in the front page.

STATE VISIT TO ESPANA

President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo (PGMA) left for Spain and ushered PhP1.2 Billion (about $28M) in Foreign Direct Investments (FDI). This is good news since FDI’s, being tangible capital, does not leave the country as easily as other forms of capital (like stock market funds). Please check this link for the details.

AT WHAT EXPENSE?

1. The president, aiming to please the source of her family’s wealth, told the Spanish government that she has signed a directive promoting the teaching and learning of the Spanish language.
2. Apart from her official delegation, she is accompanied by more than 30 congressmen who are being suspected of being there, simply to have a good time.

COMMENTARY:

What does her directive state? With not so many Spanish speaking teachers in the country, how much will it cost to train instructors and write Spanish books and instructional materials? If the language will be brought back, I am almost sure that it will cost the country more than PhP1.2 Billion and that easily offsets the gains of this trip.

PARA QUE? And what will the country need the language for? The country’s current trade volume with Spain does not warrant much need for Spanish speaking Filipinos. In my estimate, even the projected volume of trade for the next several years will never justify the need for such change in the country’s educational system.

In addition, the much touted demand for Spanish speaking call center operators will never come close to the supply volume after the first graduates of the new curriculum are ready.

My president,

Please “let the market dictate!”

By the way, a State visit is good but a very big delegation is definitely not. The published roles of the congressmen definitely do not justify that much number in your entourage. And with so many poor people in this country, bringing political allies on what the citizenry perceives as a very expensive junket makes you look so calloused that you have lost your feelings for your countrymen.

Señora Arroyo, no desatienda por favor nuestras sensaciones - please do not disregard our feelings.

Muchas Gracias!

- JCS 2007, Tu Muchaho