Spa Review: A Ton Ton Authentic Thai Massage Fiasco!

From time to time, may we play the role of a restaurant critic or a service ratings panel member.

Having been stressed by tons of paperwork and the long weekend that passed, I decided to get myself an hour’s worth of Thai massage instead of having lunch. I dialed the Ton-Ton Thai massage in Leviste street and reserved my favorite therapist.

As a spa veteran and massage critic, I feel that the kind of Thai massage here in the Philippines pales in comparison to the Filipino traditional hilot. The reason lies in the method used by both systems. Thai massage emphasizes the use of stretching and quick finger pressure while hilot uses deep thumb pressure through slow deliberate rubbing.

Stretching and point pressure system is good for relaxation but the hilot system enables the masseuse to find lymph nodes or “lamig” which are dealt with high pressure rubs. At the end of the hilot session, the patient or customer feels worn out, relieved, sleepy and very satisfied. In short, hilot is very much worth one’s money.

But since I do not know of any traditional hilot clinic in Makati, I decided to reserve a particular masseuse at Ton Ton for a lunch massage so that I'll be in shape for my 3 pm meeting. The reason why I asked for a particular therapist is that she has strong fingers, massages unhurriedly and knows how to deal with lymph nodes (due to previous sessions with moi’.)

The person who answered the phone confirmed that the therapist being sought is on duty and I told her that I am on my way. I passed by the ATM, walked under the mid day sun and reached the TonTon massage clinic with perspiration running on my back.

I introduced myself to the lady at the counter as the one who called and requested for a particular masseuse. Without any regard to my being a customer and sans the courteous tone of counter receptionists, she said, “Alas kuatro ang duty nya (she’s on duty by 4pm)!”

Taken aback, I replied, “I called up and was told that she’s here. I even confirmed that I’ll be coming now”

She said,”Oo nga, alas kuatro pa ang duty nya (Yes, I told you, she’s on duty by 4PM)”

@$%^^& ! What does this bitch expect me to do, wait for 4 f%4k^ng hours?!!! I left the air-conditioned office, walked under the sun and perspired only to be taken by these good for nothing ! @#%$%^?

Assessing the situation, I realized that the bitches (there were 2) simply trapped me into coming and since I was there already, expected me to simply choose one of them. In short, they wanted to serve me, themselves. This is a mother f#$% ng outrage!

Had they looked sincere to have committed a mistake, I could have done just that. But their close to being arrogant told me that they purposely misled me. Realizing that I will be spending money and probably be wasting one precious hour, I turned around and left.

Those people are not going to dupe me of any money. Not on that day and never in the future.

Imagine my disappointment. I made an appointment, left the office, withdrew money, walked under the sun and perspired heavily, all in anticipation of a good back rub. What I got are two unsympathetic people who seemed to have delighted in having pulled a fast one.

To the two readers of this blog. Never go to Ton-Ton in Salcedo Village. Instead, look for a spa that offers the Filipino traditional hilot. Communicate with your therapist by specifying the areas where you feel pain, tightness, etc.. In my more than 15 years of spa experience, the hilot is the best!! In fact, the really good therapists will find lymph nodes themselves and will not stop until it has been taken out.

No wonder, those people have their days fully booked with so many appointments.

They get their money by perfecting their craft, not by duping their clients!

By the way, look at the photo on top. It says they open at 11am. When I made my reservation at 11:30Am, they told me that they can only accommodate me starting at 12noon.

Lazy, scheming bastards!